Bigger Egos, Daddy Issues and a Slightly Clued In Earth Chick
by Sarahfelixclaremordred
Summary: What are the chances of lightning striking twice? Apparently, higher than you'd think. Catapulted into the big wide galaxy, self styled 'Kree Accuser Arse Kicker Ellie' is back on the scene. But will Pop-Culture be enough to save Ellie and the Guardians from those with huge designs for the galaxy, and will she be home in time to catch the finale of Euro-vision?
1. It Begins (Again)

Yondu Udonta stood in the snow, watching Ravagers from all corners of the galaxy vanish from sight. Here, in this, he was utterly alone. His identity, the same one he had created when he had freed himself from slavery, was gone. He had broken the sacred Ravagers code, and so they had stripped his life away: exiled into oblivion, as though he had never existed. Those same men who lie, steal and kill now care for honour. Yondu spat into the snow bitterly. Child trafficking. If only they knew the true horror. The icy cold of the planet was burned away by the rising fury he felt within him. Fury at his own helplessness.

The Iron Lotus rumbled. The Sovereign Nation had arrived.

* * *

Peter Jason Quill was having a quiet moment. The hum of the ship was lulling him into oblivion as he reclined in his seat, watching the flickering lights of the galaxy go past. A distant star winked at him. Suddenly, a loud crash reverberated through cockpit. A very pintsized, very cute Groot bounced his way past, narrowly followed by an irate Drax, who had a sponge in one hand and was covered in bubbles. Gamora shouted something at Rocket, who shouted back something that sounded a lot like 'Bath time!' Peter Jason Quill was having what passed for a quiet moment on this ship. Family was never a quiet affair.

He slotted the cassette tape into his Walkman. The music played, and the galaxy slipped away.

* * *

Light-years away, a living planet was awoken by a loud bang.

The galaxy was listening. The Infinity War loomed closer.

* * *

Ellie looked down at the singed tips of her hair, then back at the flame-throwing–machine-gun-thing-of-death, and reflexively flipped it the bird.

"Ellie," a tired sounding voice said through the room's intercom. "For the last time, the machine's mechanics are entirely unaffected by vulgar gestures. Vocally cussing and cookie bribes won't work either. You have to defeat it the...uh...normal way."

"Sorry! You said to go with my instincts. Believe me, this is an entirely instinctive reaction."

"It won't keep you alive."

The enormous robot clunked its way into the centre of the room heavily, its arm switching the projectile fire thrower in favour of a much sharper, curvier looking instrument.

"Nope, but it'll keep me sane. Or at the very least, saner."

"Ellie, look out!"

Half an hour later, feeling significantly more bruised that she had before, Ellie sat in an all too comfortable chair in the Avengers headquarters. She stared up at the ceiling. It was a simple enough room: just like all the others in the complex it had a minimalist theme going on. It had a very safe colour spectrum: grey, lighter grey, slightly darker grey... _A bit more colour around the place wouldn't hurt anyone._ Feeling her bruised arm, she groaned. For something that had previously been only a cinematic universe to Ellie, it had suddenly become very real: real with a punch. She couldn't believe that something that had begun as being so exciting (such as being semi-recruited by the one and only Team Avengers) had devolved into something so routine.

From her point of view, after a month of straight training she ought to be a Power Ranger by now. She could kick, she could punch: what else could there possibly be? _One month since Zordon – uh, I mean Fury, inducted me into his training course of terror, and I still don't have a cool costume!_ Ellie made a mental note to leave a scathing review on Trip Advisor.

The door slid open with a mechanical clunk, and Vision gracefully stepped through, holding a tray in his hands.

"Man, even you get a cool costume!"

"Lunch," he said simply. Ellie wondered if he was regretting taking her on. Last week he had seemed close to vaporising everything when Ellie tried to justify that ice cream bribery, from her point of view, is a valid form of self-defence.

"Cheers my good man," she said, before mentally kicking herself. In all their time together, Ellie still wasn't sure what he was exactly. _Man shaped, yes. Man anything-else? No clue._ "You having anything?"

Vision shook his head as he handed her the tray. _Creepy thing number 1: never seen him eat._

"Lovely," she said, before attacking the ham sandwich.

Vision nodded as he lowered himself into the chair opposite. Silence ensued, save Ellie's chewing noises. As she munched she couldn't help the way her eyes were drawn to Vision, who was thankfully scanning the room. The infinity stone. There it glowed in the centre of his forehead, winking at her in the light like one other certain ancient artefact she could name. It reminded Ellie exactly why Fury had allocated Vision to oversee Ellie's training. _Who better to supervise a loose infinity stone cannon than another loose infinity stone cannon?_ On meeting him, Ellie had hoped that Vision's infinity power would mean he could answer some of her questions about her own infinity power. Alas, he was a newbie too, still discovering his potential.

Ellie thought the power stone. The petrifying pulsating purple power that killed so many in the hands of Ronan the Accuser. The way she absorbed it into her body on the planet of Xandar, like earthling an electrical charge. The fear she had felt. And then the control. In that moment of unity with the stone, she somehow knew that the Infinity Stone of Power could do more than just destroy. Power isn't just destruction after all. It can grow life. It can exile. The Universe had grown more complicated, more sublime, and Ellie's horizons had been broadened big time. _Still, I'm bloody glad I left that thing on Xandar. I'd never get a date again if I was glowing purple all the time._

She thought of her friends, the Guardians of the Galaxy, spinning their way in Quill's 'Butterfly Ship' across the cosmos, spreading giggles wherever they went. She glanced subtly over at Vision. _If Quill and the others could see all the rules these people had, they'd laugh their asses off. I can't imagine any of them in Avengers uniform._ She felt a familiar ache in her chest, which was then overpowered by a snort of laughter as she imagined Drax in 'Captain America' getup. _The 'Star Spangled Destroyer.' Somehow, I don't think it'll catch on._

"Well," Ellie said into the silence. "I have to say, this has been an extremely interesting experience. Do most people get shot at and karate chopped on the average job training course?"

"Only at the very best institutions."

"And get generally demoralised?"

The corners of Vision's mouth twitched.

"That's a guarantee."

"Ah, super. I feel so much better now. You know, I can't help but think that I might be better at freelancing."

"This is for your protection." Vision said pensively. "You have to be able to defend yourself, and we have to know you can defend yourself. We don't know what Thanos's next move will be. Or indeed the location of Ronan the Accuser. The Avengers will protect you as far as they can, but your own strength will be what carries you through."

"Thanks, but I can't help but feel that you guys shooting lethal bullets at me might not be conducive to my protection," Ellie laughed loudly, trying to ignore the way her pulse quickened and the way nausea rose within her at the mere mention of those maniacs. "Maybe I should have kept the stone after all. Like you have." _I'd like to see the Angry Smurf try to take me on then! Go Team Terra!_

"I don't only harness the stone. The infinity stone is a part of my being." Almost subconsciously, Vision raised a hand to his brow. "It is my mind, my body, my life force. For you it is different. You harnessed the power to defeat the Accuser, and then you handed it back. It was a...wise decision." He admitted. "Were the Infinity stone of power to come to earth, there would be problems."

"Too right. There's loads of stuff I don't have a clue about. I don't know why it didn't rip me apart like it should have done." Ellie's stomach felt like it was in knots as she put the sandwich down. _Where's Ben and Jerry's Cookie Dough when you need it?_

"I'm sure all will be revealed in time." Vision said.

There was silence for a few beats.

"While I was up there, we met this crazy pale dude who collects things from all over the galaxy, and he said that the Infinity Stones were formed when the universe was formed." Ellie said. "So they were formed out of the same matter and stuff, and yet they're all different. I mean with yours, people can touch it without turning into Bunsen burners, right?"

Ellie reached forward with one finger towards Vision's head. Used to her antics by now, Vision resigned himself with a sigh. The small yellow stone glinted. It didn't seem menacing: it was a part of the mind of the collective unconsciousness, and indispensable fragment of the universe. Reaching, Ellie felt her fingertip touch the surface of the stone ever so slightly. It's warm.

"Yeah, you see? Nothing h-"

A sudden shudder went through the air, sending ripples across the cosmos. Vision's head snapped up to look at her, his disinterest turning to intense alarm.

Ellie had just enough time to utter " _Oopsie Daisy_ " before the entire world vanished.

* * *

 **To those of you who are meeting Ellie for the first time: Welcome! And to those who are already her best buddies: Welcome Back!**

 **If you haven't already, I thoroughly recommend you guys read** 'TV Wormholes, Guardians and a Clueless Earth Chick' **so things here don't seem completely crazy to you!**

 **Happy to have you on board!**

 **\- Sarah**


	2. Inter-dimensional Monster or Unicorn?

'The Sovereign' was not in fact an all-powerful monarch as the name suggests, but a system. It rested majestically in a faraway quadrant, unknown to most inhabitants on earth. The highly advanced genetically engineered galactic race that lived there, polished gold like their system, shared the same name. The planet and its appendages floated on its orbit proudly, the face of supposed genetic zenith in the galaxy. There was perfection in its every angle, in every curve: nothing on the planet had been constructed mindlessly, nothing without purpose. As their citizens strived for genetic perfection, this was not surprising. All here adhered to their state, to logic. To order.

All that is, except from a groaning heap that had suddenly materialised on one of their landing platforms.

"Really?" was all this heap could think of to say. " _Again_?"

Ellie felt the flat metal beneath her, not daring to open her eyes yet. Her head span. There was an intrusive pain in her temples, and she was certain that wherever she was, there would be no paracetamol. Images swam in front of her shut eyes. She thought of Vision. The infinity stone in his forehead. It's warmth. The alarm in his eyes.

"I am such a dunce."

A crack of lightening flashed over her closed eyelids. Ellie opened her eyes in time to be greeted by a deep roll of thunder: oppressive, dark clouds were gathering above. _Please don't be a foreshadowing device..._ She tried lifting her head a little, and then thought the better of it. She shut her eyes again, feeling nauseous. _Where am I? Where are the avengers? Is this Earth? Given my track record, I'm going to go with no._

"...detected a rupture...energy field..."

 _Is that a...a voice?_

"...thorough search...rendezvous...High Priestess..."

Ellie lifted her head slightly. She spotted three figures rounding the corner. They stopped dead. For an endless moment, they all stared at one another.

"Intruder!" The middle figure shouted.

"Oh snap!" Ellie moved violently, trying to get to her feet. She wasn't fast enough. Suddenly the ground was gone, and restrictive arms encircled her. Panic gripped her. "Oh God!"

"I've got it!" The guard yelled to his companions. Ellie heard the sound of running footsteps.

Blinking in the light as her spinning head settled, she got a proper look at her captor.

"Wow." She said. "Is flamboyant and fabulous gold _in_ right now?"

"Silence!" The one holding her shook her. "This is heresy of the highest order! You have invaded Sovereign space, made a mockery of our highly advanced security system and defiled our proud navy port with your inferior genetic makeup!"

"Wow. Me, an overachiever. Who'd have thought?"

"We must take her to the Golden High Priestess." One of the others said. "Judgement will be swift."

Ellie was about to babble that she was very relieved about that, as she hated long waits, but was cut off by a particularly loud rumble of thunder. The guards, including the one restraining Ellie, stopped dead. They turned their faces skywards to the furious sky.

"The beast!" one of them said, his golden face somehow paling. "We are not to risk our lives: the command was crystal clear!"

"What about..?"

"Drop it!"

The Sovereign guard did just that, and Ellie found herself once more flat on her back on the hard surface. _Asshole...just you see if I give you my new fusion Ben and Jerry's recipe!_

"We must to the reception chamber! We shall be out of harm's way there!"

They marched away as fast as they could without outright running, and Ellie shut her eyes against the dizziness, listening to their footfalls growing fainter and fainter. _Stupid gold aliens. Are they at a permanent UV paint party? Well, at least I have some peace and quiet again..._

"Showtime A-holes! It's going to be here aaaany minute!" Ellie was halfway through taking off one of her shoes to throw in the direction of the voice when she stopped. _Hey, I know that voice. It's cocky, obnoxious, American..._

"Which will be its last," a second voice cut through the air.

"I thought your thing was a sword!" came the first voice again.

An impatient sigh reached Ellie's ears.

"We have to stop an interdimensional beast from feeding on those batteries and I'm going to stop it with a _sword_?" The subtext reading 'you idiot' couldn't be mistaken. _That tone of voice..._

"It's just swords were your thing and guns were mine, but I guess we're both doing guns now. I just didn't know that."

"Drax." The second voice mercilessly cut off the first. "Why aren't you wearing one of Rocket's..?" _My head hurts. I hit my head on impact, that why. It can't be...it's not possible..._

"It hurts." came a deep, mournful voice.

"Hurts?"

"I have sensitive nipples."

"Hahahahah!" The laugh grated over Ellie's already severe migraine. "My nipples hurt, oh goodness me!"

Ellie sat bolt upright. The pain in her head and body screamed. She looked around wildly, trying to ignore it. _It can't be. It just can't be..._ As quickly as she could she dragged herself to her feet, groaning. The voices were coming from the next platform, away from the docking ports. She hobbled slowly, and found herself on a platform pulsing with energy: golden energy. And standing there, illuminated in the golden glow, were the Guardians of the Galaxy.

 _I don't believe it. This is Deus Ex Machina gone wild._

"Blame Quill!" Rocket was saying. "He's the one who loves music so much!"

"Actually I agree with Drax on this. It's hardly important right now."

"Oh, oh, okay. Sure." Rocket winked manically in Quill's direction.

"No, seriously. I side with Drax."

"No, I understand that, you're being very serious right now."

"I can clearly see you winking." Drax said impatiently.

"I am Groot!" There and then, sprinting into view, chasing some small alien animals, was the cutest thing Ellie had ever seen. Baby Groot had outgrown his pot, and had grown into a tiny little specimen with tiny hands, legs, feet. His eyes were enormous in his head, blinking blearily at a galaxy too big for him.

"No," Rocket groaned. "They were not looking at you funny!"

Groot reluctantly let the little animals scurry away.

"Holy Crowley, that's the cutest thing I have ever seen!" The words were out of Ellie's mouth before she could stop them.

The Guardians of the Galaxy froze, all turning at once to the location of that familiar voice. Quill's eyes widened. Gamora's mouth fell open. Drax blinked once, and then again, checking for a mirage. Rocket stared at her as though she were a ghost.

"Blondie?" he said quietly.

The seconds trickled by. Ellie stood still for a moment, before putting on her best cheesy grin.

"Hey guys! Long-time no see!"

Only one of them wasn't stumped.

"I am GROOT!" Groot bolted across the ground, grinning ear to ear, before leaping into Ellie's arms. She wrapped her arms around him, chuckling.

"Groot my main man, you are lookin' good!" After a moment he clambered out of her arms to sit astride on her shoulder, one little hand wrapped in her hair.

"How's this for role reversal?" Ellie said, grinning at Groot. Groot grinned back.

Someone cleared their throat. Ellie looked away from Groot to Quill, who looked like someone had just hit him over the head with a baseball bat.

"What..." He said, trailing off. "...When...how did you..?"

A roar tore up the air, cutting away any other sound. Ellie nearly jumped out of her skin at the noise, flailing around in panic, grabbing Groot's little arm to stop him from falling from her shoulder. Lightening cracked and thunder roared as a hole was torn in space high above their heads. Flying out of it, writhing, was Ellie's worst nightmare.

"Huh. That's intense," Ellie heard Rocket say, just before the enormous specimen landed with a deafening crash on the platform. It unfurled before a horrified Ellie, all tentacles and teeth, a roaring monster. Always practical, she started to back away. The aches and pains in her body suddenly seemed a hell of a lot less noticeable.

"Uh, nice monster! Good monster!" she said.

"Ellie, get to safety!" Quill yelled at her as he activated his mask. "You can explain what the hell is going on later!" Gamora and Quill took warlike stances, preparing their guns. Drax readied himself, drawing two enormous curved blades from his belt, every inch a warrior.

"Don't mind if I do!" Ellie called, and ran as fast as she could to take shelter.

The monster roared as the Guardians of the Galaxy attacked. Blasts from their weapons detonated on its armoured skin, the fumes rising high, causing it to squirm around in anger. The Guardians weaved around it, firing rapidly. It lashed out with what seemed like a hundred tentacles, cracking the platform with its weight, shattering glass: one caught Drax and sent him flying and crashing into a generator. While Drax could easily survive that, Ellie reasoned from her hiding place, she knew any impact remotely like that would break all her bones.

Suddenly, a tiny weight was gone from Ellie's shoulder. She turned, horrified, to see the tiny figure of Groot running towards Rocket's speakers. Towards danger.

"Groot! Come back! It's dangerous!" She yelled, hysterical. _No! He's too cute to die!_ "I almost lost you once!"

Groot was too far away to hear, the din of battle too loud. He ran as fast as his little legs could carry him.

"God damn it!" Ellie hissed, and flung herself out of her hiding place, ducking her head as sparks flew from Rocket's gun as he soared past, propelled by rocket boots. She had got a few steps when she saw Groot, cables in hand, make the connection. Loud and clear, a tune began to play. A groovy, thoroughly danceable, not at all appropriate tune.

" _Sun is shinin' in the sky, There ain't a cloud in sight!_ "

"Hey!" Ellie said, pausing for a moment. "I actually know this one!"

A tentacle came out of nowhere. Clumsily, Ellie fell to the ground to avoid it, and felt it whoosh over her head.

"Groot!" Looking around from the floor, she saw him: he was out of arms reach, and boogieing. "Now is no time to be awesome!"

She started to crawl. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the explosions, heard the bellow of the monster, Drax's battle cry and the rumble of the Guardian's rocket boots as they circled the interdimensional beast, peppering it with bullets to no avail. In front of her, Groot danced away.

A piece of shrapnel dented the ground in front of Ellie's head.

" _Mister blue sky, please tell us why, You had to hide away for so long_!"

"So long!" Ellie couldn't help chiming in. She shuffled forward some more, trying to keep pace with the little collection of dancing twigs.

As Drax was thrown again, she dared to look up. Quill and Rocket were flying overhead while Gamora was manning the attack from the ground, and each party seeming to have as little effect as the other. Its teeth were sharper and more terrifying than any set Ellie had seen on a shark back home, its size more imposing than the biggest creature, its eyes more piercing and evil. The beast radiated an ancient and primeval power: it had evolved to conquer its own dimension, to feed on all the energy there was, and it saw no reason why this dimension should be any different.

Managing to move past her terror, Ellie continued to crawl.

" _Look around see what you do, Everybody smiles at you_!"

There was a crash and a splintering. Ellie crawled faster. Groot froze, his eyes wide. Groaning, Drax attempted to dislodge himself from the shattered debris in which he had landed: the stereo.

Groot roared the cutest little roar Ellie had ever heard. In frustration at his interrupted jive, he began to lash out at Drax, only to be plucked up from his revenge mission by a sweating and panting Ellie.

"Gotcha," she said. "That's more exercise that I do in a year! Don't worry; we'll meet 'Mr Blue Sky' again." Groot resisted only for a moment, before clambering up her arm to her shoulder once more.

"So..." Ellie said, standing up straight. "How're we doing..?"

She looked over at the battle...Just in time to see Drax fly, quite on purpose, into the creature's mouth. The enormous jaw clamped shut.

"Oh my God! Quill!" Ellie cried, "Drax is Octopus Chow!"

"I noticed!" He shouted back.

"Why on earth..?"

"The outer skin is too tough," said Gamora. "Drax thinks he can cut through it from the inside. Drax is wrong."

"We've got to get him out of there!" Ellie said, hysterical. From her shoulder, Groot voiced his agreement.

"It has a cut on its neck! Rocket!" Quill called, "Get it to look up!" Quill activated his mask, and joined Rocket in the air.

"Oh _Gawd_ ," Ellie said as she watched on helplessly. Rocket and Quill was circling in tandem, trying to hit their mark, but it seemed to be having no success at all. Rocket was growling in frustration, just barely avoiding the gnashing jaws. Even from the ground she could hear Quill throwing insults at the beast. _Once a Terran, always a Terran._

"Blast it Quill!" Rocket roared, before being developed by a colourful and hot looking substance issuing from the creatures mouth.

"What is that?" Ellie yelled. "Rainbow dust? Is this thing actually a unicorn?"

"Fire-ball rays!" Was Gamora's only reply. Ellie watched Gamora arm her gun and zone in on the cut on the creatures meaty neck, find her mark, and pull the trigger. Nothing. Ellie gulped.

Gamora threw away the gun dispassionately, irritated, before unfurling her sword. _That will never not impress me._

"That's better: much more you!"

A yell above them cut through the storm. Ellie looked up and inhaled. Struggling for his life, Quill had been snatched from the air, caught in one of the tentacles. Rocket was shooting it half to death, desperately trying to free his friend, but to no avail. Ellie clapped both her hands over her mouth as those many rows of teeth gnashed nearer and nearer. _Oh God, Quill is going to die! Now the romance arc will never be resolved!_ Ellie found herself moving forward. To do what, she didn't know. She just had to save her friends. _I'm useless, but I can at least be useless in a more useful way..._

A hand on Ellie's shoulder stopped her. She turned to look. Gamora had war in her eyes. With a nod, Ellie stepped back, trying to not look too relieved.

Gamora ran with incredible speed towards the fray, with a grace that no creature from terra could ever hope to duplicate. Glistening sword in hand, she jumped majestically and fearlessly, the size and terror of the creature meaning nothing. Ellie felt her mouth drop open as Gamora flew through the air, sword swinging. She could only wish to one day be so athletic: it would mean giving up fast food after all. The sword connected. The blade hooked into the cut, and Gamora sliced the creature down the middle, like a knife through butter.

Its yellow innards pulsed out. Its tentacles unfurled, the light in its eyes dimming. Quill was thrown from its grasp. Ellie watched as it roared almost pitifully for a moment, writhing fitfully, before it collapsed to the ground with the force of an avalanche, never to move again.

Ellie dashed to the incision to stand by Gamora, Groot on her shoulder, while Rocket and Quill landed, deactivating their boots. Ellie stared, transfixed, and the now very dead interdimensional beast.

"Gamora. You're my hero." Ellie said with absolute certainly.

A squelching, bubbling sound came from the gash, and after a moment Drax oozed out of the creatures belly, covered in the monsters innards. He hit the ground, blades still in hand, and roared with laughter.

"Yes!" he said, raising both his weapons. "I've single handedly vanquished the beast!"

The only response was a single pebble thrown by Groot, which hit Drax between the eyes.

"What?" He asked, looking round at them all.

"Well, I don't know about you guys," Ellie said, "But I could murder a cup of tea right now."

* * *

 **Happy September folks!**

 **\- Sarah.**


	3. Never Have Dinner Before a Spaceflight

Alongside the Guardians of the Galaxy and as confused as ever, Ellie found herself in the reception chamber of the Sovereign Nation's most esteemed High Priestess. With Rocket on her left, Drax on her right and with Groot on her shoulder, she looked up at the throne that towered above them all, waiting for this High Priestess to receive them. _I must say, I love this matriarchy they've got going on here._

"Okay," Rocket muttered up at her. "Run that by me again."

"Just what I said to you all earlier," Ellie muttered back, trying not to attract the attention of the very volatile, very armed looking Sovereign citizens. "I was doing some punches and flips and other cool stuff, and then I touched this yellow stone on a red guy's head and _zap_! Here I am."

"Even for you that's pretty weird," Rocket said.

"Yeah, well, they are the Avengers after all. Weird stuff can't help but happen."

"Avengers?" Rocket asked.

"Yeah. You know, a group of misfits with very special abilities who are thrown together through incredibly unlikely circumstances and at first don't work well together and hate each other's guts but have to figure out to operate as a team in order to save...wait, hang on just one _minute_ -!"

"We thank you, Guardians, for putting your lives on the line." A powerful voice reverberated through the hall, effectively cutting Ellie off. Sitting high above the Guardians in a regal throne was the High Priestess of the Sovereign Nation, as golden as her people, her piercing eyes flitting between the people below. "We could not risk the lives of our own Sovereign citizens. Every citizen is born exactly as designed by the community. Impeccable, both physically and mentally. We control the DNA of our progeny...germinating them in birthing pods."

Ellie made no effort to hide her grimace. "So they're all pod people?"

Quill stepped forwards, smugness radiating from him.

"I guess I prefer to make people the old-fashioned way," he said, all but waggling his eyebrows.

"Perhaps someday, you could give me a history lesson...in the archaic ways of our ancestors," The High Priestess said. Below the high priestess, one of the sovereign number smirked. The High Priestess drummed her fingers. "For academic purposes," she added.

"I would be honored, yes. In the name of research...I think that could be pretty, uh..." Quill turned and caught Gamora's eye. "...pretty repulsive. I'm not into that kind of casual..."

"Oh please," Ellie said, not quietly enough. She did, however, hide a small smile. Quill the badass ravager: _in love_!

Ignoring Quill, Gamora stepped forward.

"Your people promised something in exchange for our services," she said. "Bring it...and we shall gladly be on our way."

The High Priestess considered Gamora for a long moment, her golden eyes emotionless, before raising a finger to one of her guards. With great ceremony a door to the side of the throne was thrown open, and two guards dragged a struggling figure into the room. It was wrapped in a dark and ancient robe, and was forced to its knees before Gamora. One golden hand tore back the fraying hood.

"Smurfette!" Ellie gasped. The mechanical eyes of Nebula found her, blazing with hatred. "Hey, don't look at me like that. I didn't kill your boyfriend in the end, remember?"

"Family reunion! Yay!" Quill said.

"I understand she is your sister," the High Priestess said to Gamora in that same monotone.

Gamora looked down at Nebula.

"She's worth no more to me than the bounty due for her on Xandar," she said without emotion. Nebula looked up at her venomously.

"Our soldiers apprehended her attempting to steal the batteries," High Priestess said as she stood up from her throne. "Do with her as you please."

"We thank you, High Priestess Ayesha," Quill said with a short bow. He turned to leave.

"What is your heritage, Mr. Quill?" The High Priestess's question rang out across the hall. The members of the sovereign nation stilled, looking to their leader, and then the Guardians. Quill stopped in his tracks. Ellie looked up at him as he turned back.

"My mother is from Earth," Quill said.

"And your father?" The High Priestess pressed.

"He ain't from Missouri. That's all I know."

"I see it within you," the High Priestess continued. "An unorthodox genealogy. A hybrid that seems particularly...reckless. And you." To Ellie's great surprise, the High Priestess turned to look at her with a calculating stare. "Your heritage?"

Ellie blinked. Under the stare of what seemed like the entire Sovereign nation, she looked to Quill for help. He looked down at her and shrugged. Groot looked worriedly at her face.

"Just your standard Terran here!" she said, spreading her arms and shrugging.

"Is that right?" The High Priestess said. Even Ellie didn't miss the condescending tone.

"Well, there has been some suggestion that I have a little elven blood in me somewhere. Or was it a unicorn? J R. R. Tolkein's genius can't have come from nowhere after all!"

The High Priestess looked down at Ellie for a long moment.

"It is possible that this _Terra_ may benefit from controlling the DNA of their prodigy as we do," she said. "I must remember to send an ambassador to the region to offer our services."

"You know, they told me you people were conceited douchebags..." Rocket said loudly. The High Priestess's eyes jumped to him, distasteful. "- but that isn't true at all!" He turned to Ellie and winked. In the direction of the High Priestess and the Sovereign guard.

"Uh, Rocket -?" Ellie started. The Sovereign began to mutter among one another. One raised a gun.

"Oh, shit. I'm using my wrong eye again, aren't I? I'm sorry. That was meant to be behind your back!" He called to the High priestess.

"Let's hit the road, shall we?" Ellie said loudly as Drax began to haul Rocket away.

"Count yourself blessed they didn't kill you," Drax said.

"Forget that," Ellie said. "Count yourself blessed that they didn't shove you into one of their pods!"

"You're telling me," Rocket said. He tapped Ellie's hand and gestured down into his bag.

"You wanna buy some batteries?" Rocket asked, barely stifling his laughter.

"Oh _man_!" Ellie groaned.

Drax threw his head back and roared with a laughter that reverberated down the Sovereign Nation's halls.

* * *

"I see you've cleaned," was the first thing Ellie said when she stepped aboard Quill's Ravager ship. Drax lumbered to stand beside her, bewildered.

"Cleaned?" he asked. "This place smells like a vat of celestial spinal fluid."

"I was just... just kidding - it was, you know...sarcasm?" Ellie said. Drax looked at her blankly. "Oh right, I forgot."

"Forgot what?" Rocket asked as he went past.

"Nothing," Ellie said in a sing song voice. "Don't worry Drax, there's nothing wrong with my nose. This place is as filthy as I remember it. Sheesh, it's like a football team's locker room!"

"I am Groot," Groot said to her from her shoulder.

"He says he cleaned the top left-hand corner of the airlock," came Rocket's voice from the next room. "Needed a place to stash the candy."

Ellie raised her eyebrows, nodding slowly in approval. "I stand corrected." Groot's tiny face erupted into a wide grin.

After lowering Groot onto one of the control panels, Ellie began to explore. She sighed in the artificial glow of the many control panels. For the past months everything - the Guardians, space, Smurf the Accuser – had seemed like a dream, and yet all was exactly as she remembered it. She trailed a finger along the Ravager ship walls, feeling the cool metal and the thrum of the engines. This same lump of metal had spun her through the cosmos not some months ago: to Xandar, Knowhere, past countless systems and stars, past too many rainbow nebulas to name. _I feel significantly less rattled than I did the last time I was zapped into a galaxy far far away...wait, wrong franchise. Maybe I really am getting used to this!_

"So, where are we headed?" she asked.

"I am Groot."

"Yeah, we gotta collect the bounty on blue's head," said Rocket. "That ain't insignificant monies, believe me."

Ellie grinned before slumping down against the wall.

"This is probably getting really old, but...I don't suppose there's any chance of a lift?"

"I am Groot."

"Yeah," said Rocket. "What's the rush, blondie?"

"Well, I _was_ just in the middle of a kick ass training session with infinity stone guy, and I kind of just vanished right in front of him...so yeah," Ellie yawned and leaned backwards. "I should probably be getting back."

"Infinity stone guy?" Rocket asked.

"Yeah, a guy called Vision: he's got a yellow one in his head."

"You know what? I don't want to know: I've had enough of those infinity stones to last a lifetime. Come on Groot, let's get this bucket fired up!"

"That stuff about my father," a voice said just around the corner. "Who does she think she is?"

Ellie's ears pricked up.

"I know you're sensitive about that," came Gamora's reply.

"I'm not sensitive about it, I just don't know who he is!" Quill said defensively. He cleared his throat. "Sorry if it seemed like I was flirting with the High Priestess. I wasn't."

"I don't care if you were," came Gamora's simple reply.

"Well, I feel like you do care," Quill said. Ellie inwardly cringed a little. "That's why I'm apologizing. So, sorry!"

 _Oh Quill,_ Ellie thought as Gamora strode past her. _I'm going to have to lend you my copy of 'What Women Want.'_ Eager to make the recommendation, she pulled herself to her feet and dashed around the corner...

"He Quill dearest I was just thinking about your superiorly bad dating game and I think I have a solution to your – _oof_!"

...only to run straight into the imposing arm of Drax the Destroyer.

"Gamora is not the one for you, Quill," Drax said, putting Ellie back on her feet. "There are two types of beings in the universe...those who dance, and those who do not."

"Oh," Ellie said, still clinging to Drax's arm. "Is this an anecdote?"

"I first met my beloved at a war rally."

"Oh okay, it is."

"Oh, _God_ ," Quill groaned. Drax went on, unruffled.

"Everyone in the village flailed about, dancing. Except one woman. My Ovette." Drax's eyes shone at the memory. "I knew immediately she was the one for me. The most melodic song in the world could be playing. She wouldn't even tap her foot. Wouldn't move a muscle."

"Drax, it's very sweet you remember her like that." Ellie said.

"One might assume she was dead," Drax said.

"Ah," Ellie said just as Quill chimed in with "That does sound pretty hot."

"It would make my nether regions engorge."

"Whoa whoa, okay Drax ol' buddy! I think we get the _general_ idea, wouldn't you say, Quill?"

"I think we got more than that."

Suddenly, a loud beeping resounded throughout the ship. Ellie's eyes widened as Quill dashed from the room with lightning speed, pulling himself up into the cockpit in record time. Red warning lights were flashing.

"This is weird," Quill said, tapping his control panel. "We've got a Sovereign fleet approaching from the rear."

"Why would they do that?" Gamora asked as she swung into her chair.

Ellie pulled herself up to the cockpit. Sure enough, there materialised behind them what looked like hundreds of space pods, glistening golden in the light of the nearby nebula. The ships alarms were all going off.

"I know that sound!" Ellie called. "That's a bad sound!"

"It's probably because Rocket stole some of their batteries," Drax said.

Rocket swung around in his chair.

"Dude!"

"Right. He didn't steal some of those. I don't know why they're after us. What a mystery this is."

The pods swung around and around in the void, their metal hides glinting, as they began to create a formidable formation. A battle formation.

Ellie managed to fasten herself into her seat just in time.

The attack began. What seemed like millions of pod ships descended upon them, bombarding them with laser fire. At the controls Quill and Rocket responded in kind, arming and firing the guns while simultaneously spinning the ship out of harm's way, deeper into space. Like a hunting party, the pods pursued.

"Holy moly, what were you thinking?" Ellie heard herself say.

"They were really easy to steal!" Rocket said.

" _That's_ your defence?" Quill yelled.

"You saw how that High Priestess talked down to us. Now I'm teaching her a lesson!"

"Oh, I didn't realize your motivation was altruism," Quill said, laying it on thick. "It's really a shame the Sovereign have mistaken your intentions...and they're trying to kill us."

"Exactly!" Rocket said.

"I was being sarcastic!" Quill shouted.

"Oh, no! You're supposed to use a sarcastic voice! Now I look foolish!" Rocket punctuated his point by swinging the ship around to avoid yet another barrage of bullets, sending them spinning deeper into the nebula.

"Can we put the bickering on hold...until after we survive this massive space battle?" Gamora shouted.

"Uuugh, I think I'm going to be sick!" Ellie said, clinging to her seatbelt, willing last night's curry to stay down.

"More incoming!"

The battle raged, explosions lighting up the darkness of space left right and centre as the Sovereign pods popped out of existence in the gunfire. While the Ravager ship's hit rate was good, it was like cutting off the hydra's head. Every time Quill or Rocket destroyed one of those Sovereign ships, three more seemed to take its place. A series of shots hit one of the ship's wings. The impact reverberated around the ship.

"What's the nearest habitable planet?" Quill shouted.

"It's called Berhert."

Ellie laughed through her nausea. "I swear I met a bartender called that once."

"We have to go through that quantum asteroid field to get there."

"Asteroid field? _Empire Strikes Back_ much?" _Oh God, I'm going delirious..._ The asteroid field floated before them, huge and imposing.

"Quill," Drax said, leaning forward in his seat. "To make it through that... you'd have to be the greatest pilot in the universe."

Quill grinned, cracking his knuckles.

"Lucky for us, I..."

"I am," Rocket said with a grin. With a flick of a switch, sole control of the ship went over to Rocket's joystick. He began to manoeuvre the ship through the asteroid field. Ellie was tempted to check behind them for a Star Destroyer. The Ravagers ship spun gracefully through the field, avoiding the asteroids with ease, and Rocket howled with laughter as he watched Sovereign ships be consumed by the flying bodies.

Then there was a thrum of energy, and the ship juddered a little. Ellie raised her eyebrows. Quill had taken back control.

"What are you doing?" Rocket yelled. He flicked the control back to himself.

"I've been flying this rig since I was 10 years old!" Quill said, taking control back once more.

"I was cybernetically engineered to pilot a spacecraft!"

"You were cybernetically engineered to be a douchebag!"

"I'm sorry," Ellie butted in, "but who makes a ship with two sets of controls?"

"It's the latest Ravager technology, thank you very much!" Quill yelled over his shoulder.

Rocket growled as Quill once again took control of the ship.

"Later on tonight," he said, "you're gonna be laying down in your bed...and there's gonna be something squishy in your pillow case. And you're gonna be like, "What's this?" And it's gonna be _because I put a turd in there_!"

"You put your turd in my bed, I shave you."

"Oh, it won't be my turd. It will be Drax's."

Drax roared with laughter.

"I have famously huge turds."

Gamora was in despair. "We're about to die, and _this_ is what we're discussing?" she asked.

"It could be worse," Ellie replied. "Did you hear the one about the guy who died mid-sen—"

Quill and Rocket fought over the controls.

"Son of a..."

"Dude! Seriously!"

"Hey! Let me..."

"Okay," Ellie said imperiously. "If you guys don't cut it out, _I'm_ going to take over the flying, and trust me, no one want that -"

Quill turned around with a horrified look, before -

CRASH!

An asteroid met its mark on the ship. Ellie was thrown backwards in her seat as she squeezed her eyes shut at the impact. Opening her eyes, she saw the carnage. Red warnings flashed across all the screens. They had lost part of the hull.

"Uh, guys? I think we left half the ship back there!"

The ship span in the void as internal pressure was lost. _Oh no, I don't want to die! I haven't finished season 5 of Brooklyn 99!_ In the nick of time, Quill slammed his hand on his control panel. The protective shields sprang up, sealing the holes the impact had left.

"Well, that's what you get when Quill flies!" Rocket yelled.

Ellie chanced a look at the control panel.

"We still have a Sovereign craft behind us! Just the one though!" She yelled, suddenly aware that she had contributed nothing in the past sequence. That single little ship was fighting hard, firing upon the hull like nobody's business. _Compensating for something?_

Drax got up from his seat, passing Groot to Ellie as he did so. He climbed down the ladder, disappearing from the cockpit.

"Our weapons are down!" Quill yelled.

"20 clicks to the jump!" Gamora yelled in reply.

The ship span through the atmosphere. Ellie clung to Groot as hard as she could. One of the Sovereign ship's bullets struck the surface of the ship. Ellie could smell burning.

"15 clicks to the jump!" Gamora shouted as part of the cockpit fell off the wall behind her.

"Come on!"

"Keep going!"

Ellie spotted something odd on the monitor.

"What's that behind us?" she yelled.

"Drax. Being resourceful," Rocket yelled in reply.

Ellie peered closer at the monitor, releasing that what she had thought was a piece of debris clinging to a steel cord at the back of the ship was in face a spacesuited and heavily armed Drax, dangling like a marionette. He yelled as he opened fire on the final Sovereign ship.

"Holy – he's like a Yo-Yo!"

"10 clicks!" came Gamora's yell.

The Sovereign ship exploded. Drax had hit his mark. Ellie laughed with relief.

"Five clicks!" Gamora called triumphantly.

Suddenly, Ellie could see space again. _Oh, thank God that's over..._

The ship exited the asteroid field in a flash of colour...only to suddenly be flanked by what looked like thousands of Sovereign pods.

"There's a little pee coming out of me right now!" Ellie said, feeling close to tears.

"Son of a..." Quill brought the ship to a stop. "They went around the field!"

Somewhere, far away, Ellie imagined could see the Sovereign High Priestess smiling in triumph.

The pods all opened fire. It was a bombardment unlike any that had followed before, without sport or quarter: they were firing to kill, to send them all flying into the cold void of space. The shots put deep gouges in the glass view screen. Groot hid in Ellie's hair.

"I just want you guys to know," Ellie said. "That you're the best friends a gal could-"

There was a thrum of energy. _This is the end. Mum, I'm sorry I never cleaned my room when you told me to!_ A huge swell of blue energy seemed to take up the entirely of space, burning Ellie's eyeballs. She threw an arm across her eyes as the flashes of combustion lit up the ether, fire burning and boiling. It churned for a moment, and then died. A long moment passed. Ellie realised that she was still alive. She put her arm down and opened her eyes.

All the Sovereign ships had been extinguished at once.

Ellie and Quill looked at each other with the same shocked expression.

"One click!" Gamora called, hiding her confusion well.

"What just happened?" Ellie asked, not bothering to hide her confusion.

"What is that?" Rocket said. Ellie leaned forwards to see what she was talking about. A ship was cutting its way through space, through the graveyard that the Sovereign ships had created. Despite her lack of knowledge in the area, Ellie knew it was a strange ship. It's sleek whiteness spoke of technology advanced beyond what Ellie could barely imagine, and an intelligence that was just as impossible.

It looked new, but Ellie somehow knew it was ancient too.

"Who cares?" yelled Quill. "That's the jump point! Go!"

Ellie watched the ship as it passed them. Astride the top of the mystical vehicle, there was a man.

"It's a guy," Rocket said.

"How is he doing that?" Ellie wondered aloud.

"Jump point coming up!" Quill screamed, not listening.

As he passed them, the man raised one arm and waved.

With a thrum of the dying engines Quill's ship passed through the jump point, and the ship as good as exploded. The planet beneath them, Behert, loomed closer.

"Oh my God!" Ellie threw her arms over her head as flamed consumed the viewpoint. "I don't want to be extra crispy!"

A screaming could be heard from the outside. Gamora looked at the monitor to see Drax being dragged along behind the ship like a rag doll, just narrowly missing the flaming debris flying off the ship.

"Oh, my God, he's still out there?"

Gamora leapt from her seat and down the cockpit ladder. Ellie realised that Groot was no longer on her shoulder.

"Groot!" She called, looking frantically around, then she saw him in the seat next to her, tucking into his sweeties like he was watching a really good movie. "You gonna at least share?"

"I am Groot."

"Groot, put your seatbelt on!" Quill shouted. "Prepare for a really bad landing!"

With an ear-splitting crash, the Ravager ship met the treeline. Then, darkness.

* * *

 **Apologies for the long absence: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! - Sarah.**


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